


Along Came Melanie

by LivetoDream333 (orphan_account)



Series: Double-O Drabbles [29]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Amused Q, Baby Bond, Flustered James, Friends to Lovers, Hermaphrodites, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Prompt Fic, Protective James, Unplanned Pregnancy, pregnant q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 19:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1830169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LivetoDream333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Q is a hermaphrodite. He and James (piss drunk) have a 1 night stand and can't remember a thing. Cue Q getting pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Along Came Melanie

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it's decent?

Along Came Melanie

 

Q woke up in medical and blinked. His head ached, so he must have collapsed on the job, he’d never hear the end of it from Eve. She’d force feed him for weeks and make him go home to sleep. He grabbed his glasses from the table next to him and frowned at the IV attached to his arm. They weren’t going to let him off easy this time. “Good evening, Q.” A doctor walked in and sat down next to him. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.”

“Happens when you fall on concrete. Why haven’t you been eating, you must know that it’s not good for you to go without?” The doctor looked extremely upset with him and Q sighed heavily.

“I ate yesterday…normally it takes a bit more than a day for me to collapse though, this is new.”

“You don’t know then…”

“Don’t know what?”

“Q, I ran some blood tests because you looked pretty awful…”

“And?”

“You’re pregnant, Q.” The doctor said. Q just laughed at him.

“Very funny, good one, but that’s not really possible.” Q giggled. “Nice humor though.”

“With your unique physical…condition, it’s quite possible, I assure you.” He tip-toed around it as neatly as possible.”

“No, you don’t understand, sexless for three years, so it’s pretty much impossible, just so you know, but nice try.” Q chuckled.

“Q…I’m not joking.” The doctor said, handing Q a file. Q looked the results over and he froze. Had he been drugged and raped? He would think he’d notice something like that. Surely he couldn’t have gotten _that_ drunk that he’d forget something like that.

“These are real?” They said he was two months along, nearly three. How in the hell had it happened? He hadn’t done anything and he wasn’t capable himself…so how had it happened.

“Yes… I’m going to bring you down some food, you’re eating for two. Anything you need?”

“Laptop as I assume you won’t be letting me out to work.”

“Nope, I’m keeping you here until you’re healthy. We can…talk about this later, or whenever you’re ready.”

“Yeah, sure.” Q said brushing him off. The doctor left and Q stared at the results trying to figure them out. It was a mystery. The doctor returned with food and his laptop.

“Eat all of the food before working, doctor’s orders.” He said seriously.

“Sure…” Q shrugged taking a small bite of food, just to make him happy. The doctor smiled at him before he left, even a reluctant Q was 2000 times better than any double-o he’d ever had to take care of. Q stared at the paperwork, confused for a few more minutes before he began to eat, on hand on his stomach, in awe. He finished eating and got back to work. He didn’t have the brain capacity to try to figure everything out, to try to figure out how in the hell he’d managed to get pregnant.

“Q?” The door opened as Q moved to put his mug on the side table and he dropped it when he saw James. It shattered on the ground as Q’s head swam. Nearly three months ago they’d been on a mission together. It had been bloody and mentally scarring and they’d both wound up drunk out of their minds. Had they…? Q could remember getting out of James’ bed the morning after, but he’d been wearing pants…or had he put them back on? Was he carrying the child of a double-o? “Are you alright?” He asked worriedly, walking forward and trying to clean up the mess. “I was supposed to report to you, but they said you passed out. What happened?”

“Em…blood sugar problem.” Q said. They’d been friends and seen each other a few times but was that enough? How in the hell do you tell a double-o that they’re the only person they could have possibly slept with and that you’re pregnant?

“Dammit, Q. You should at least try to eat on occasion, you know.” James shook his head and finished cleaning up the glass. “You look a bit pale, are you alright?”

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” James wondered. Q slowly closed his laptop and took a deep breath, sitting up. “Careful, Q, you look like you’re about to fall over.”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“I hope so.” Q said slowly. “James…um, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, well that explains why you passed out, you should really take better care of yoursel—”

“It’s yours, James.”

“Pardon?” James asked after a moment of awkward silence.

“You’re the only person I’ve been with in three years…so um…yeah.”

“Oh…” James looked like someone had just punched him in the gut. “Are you alright, do you need anything at all?” James started rambling, asking Q if he needed anything from food to foot rubs to support.

“What?” Q interrupted.

“What do you mean what?”

“I thought… I thought you wouldn’t want…”

“Were you going to keep…? If you don’t I’ll support you, but I mean…if you want I can be there for that too, just…um…”

“I’m going to try… I mean, my body is rare in that I can even become pregnant…but the odds of carrying to term are…against us, but I was going to try… I mean, unless you decided.”

“No! No, it’s fine.” James insisted. “Whatever you need. We could get you off of work and I could stay and make sure you were taken care of and—”

“You’d do that for me?”

“I thought it was pretty obvious what I’d do for you…you’re not just a friend you know.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Well that’s because I’m bloody awful at these things…um… We’ll figure it out…younger, more idiotic people have managed before right? So…we could, if if you wanted to try I mean… You know.”

“You’re absolutely flustered, it’s sort of…adorable.” Q commented. James Bond was more flustered than he was.

“Yes, well, need anything? Anything at all?”

“I am still a bit hungry.”

“I’ll go get you something then, something from your favorite bakery then?”

“Please.” Q couldn’t help but smile at the thought…maybe he’d bring something chocolaty.

“Oh—alright… Um, we can talk about this later right?”

“Yeah, when you can string together a coherent thought, would be nice.”

“Yeah—yeah, tot-totally agree…” James nodded, heading for the door.

“James, don’t kill yourself driving. Alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine.” James said, leaving the room.

“Well, at least he didn’t have a stroke…or a heart attack…or pass out…” Q commented, shaking his head and touching his stomach gently. A mini Bond…oh the hell that would be raised. The baby would be nothing but trouble…if the baby made it to term. Q frowned thinking about that if. He knew the odds were very, very small. But he hoped that they would be ignored in favor of a miracle. He’d always wanted to be a father, even though he’d been told it would never happen, not by him in either capacity…but apparently there was a chance…a very, very small one.

800Q8

James knew everything he could possibly need to know and more within two days of constant research and he did nothing but pamper Q. It would have annoyed Q, all of the pampering, except that it was just so pleasant and endearing—especially coming from James—that he couldn’t care less.

Of course, it all paid off when nearly six months later Melanie Olivia Bond was born with dark brown curls and Caribbean blue eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Much Love.


End file.
